I want to be totally honest, I do not like Newsletters. I dislike e-Newsletters even more. When I found out that The Gabby Mom’s Feb. Mission would be to review Encouraging Moments the newsletter from Eternal Encouragement Magazine, I was um…less than thrilled. I found my self procrastinating, and making excuses on why I didn’t have time to read the…ugh…newsletter.
One night when the children were all sung in their beds, I decided to give the newsletter a go. I have to say, I REALLY enjoyed Encouraging Moments…A LOT!
I love that the first thing in Encouraging Moments I read was on Marriage! This year my husband Abraham and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage!
Abe and I have been truly happily married all these years. But, 10 years later I have a heavy heart. When we got married it seemed like everyone we knew got married too. Within 5 years 50% had already divorced. Last year we were one of 4 couples still married. Sadly this year there are only 3 couples.
The differences between the successful marriage and unhappy one are:
living life “around” your disagreements
taking a “team” attitude toward compromise
loving in spite of differences
understanding and empathy for your husband’s position
knowing that quietly talking about differences can strengthen the relationship and improve intimacy
knowing that avoiding conflicts doesn’t make them go away
This is how my Husband and I have lived for the last 10 years. Before we got married it seemed our marriage was being tested, for lack of better word. Let me explain…
My parents had been married for 25 years. They had always had their problems, but I never thought they would get divorced. The day Abe and I were looking at the Church and meeting with the Pastor who would marry us I got a phone call. My mom was crying. My dad had left my mom for another woman and was moving to Texas. I was sad and angry. Abe was so wonderful. He was there for me when I pushed him away…and I did! “If my dad was a cheater what is to stop Abe from doing this to me?” I thought. I brought this before the LORD and was given peace. It would have been so easy for me to say “all men are cheaters, and I can’t marry you” and trust me there was a point when I wanted to. The Lord showed me how I was beginning to punishing Abe for something that he didn’t do. I realized that I was allowing my hurt inflicted by my dad, to hinder my own relationship and how truly unhealthy it was.
Our Wedding day came and went, my dad walked me down the aisle, then quickly moved to Texas and I haven’t seen him since and very rearly speak to him. That hurts, but my marriage is not paying for something that he did.
Ok, so back to the ‘successful marriage’ – To be honest when I read the points Lorrie has listed (above) I laughed out loud…not because they are funny, but because it was like she take my own thoughts and and looking at my marriage when she wrote them!
There are two points that really stood out to me:
taking a “team” attitude toward compromise…
We actually refer to our family as “team wood” It seems silly, but there is a deep reason behind it, and not just the fact that we are HUGE Football fans. We are one before the LORD the ultimate Head Coach, and became one in his presents 10 years ago. However, just because we are one that does not mean that we think and do things exactly alike…I mean come on we are a man and a woman! Referring to us as “team wood” reminds us of how a team will totally fall apart if the players are doing what they want and not considering the team best interest. In football the quarterback’s job is to keep everything going, to read the situation and to know how to get the job done, sure the other players might think they have a better way, but they are a team and listen to their captain. It is the same in our marriage and family. Abe my quarterback.
understanding and empathy for your husband’s position…
Many years ago my Abe and I made the decision that I would be a stay at home mom when we had children. This was one of the best decisions we have made. I get to spend everyday with our kids and watch them grow. Recently, the twins have become…toddlers, getting into everything. A few months ago I had one VERY HIGH stress afternoon. Abe arrived home that day, and as soon as I saw him I started telling him about my horrible day, how this had happened and how that had happened. He just stared at me. Truthfully I got mad at him because he wasn’t responding. Later, I asked him “what was the deal, why don’t you care” he responded “I do care.” After a long talk, I realized that I was only focused on my day, what was going on with me…I didn’t even realize that he had worked a 10 hour day, and had only had a few hours of sleep. He does all this for me, for our kids, for us. Now, we talk about his day, I listen to the feelings that he needs to get out, the high stress that he has everyday. I need to make time for him, and I have!!
Encouraging Moments is full of all kinds of great things, like the ‘On Facebook this Week’ if you don’t already like Eternal Encouragement here is the link. In addition to that there is ‘Chick Flicks for Mom’
“Few things make a mountain out of a molehill more often than communication does. Understand how your husband wants to hear a story and how it may be just the opposite of how you like to tell it.” Be sure to visit and watch a great video!
However, it was something at the very bottom of Encouraging Moments that made me love it.
Timely Tip: Marriage Matters – Ties That Bind by Kimberly Lacey
A wonderful article that everyone should read. I felt as if was personally written for me! But the best part of all was after the article. The ‘Praying for our Husbands: 31 day plan’ is now printed out, sitting on my counter top so every time I walk toward the kitchen it catches my eye!
Praying for our Husbands it 31 verses – one verse for each day. As wives we need to be praying for our husbands, our providers, our quarterbacks daily! This is the perfect plan for busy mom’s and wives. After reading the verse for each day, I am able to reflected on the verse and what it means to me, thus filling the day with prayers for my quarterback!
A few of my favorites so far from Praying for our Husbands: 31 day Plan –
“That the LORD might give him wisdom to lead his family physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.” Ephesians 1:17-19
“That he might make me holy, cleansing me by the washing with water through the word.” Ephesians 5:26
Be sure to visit www.homemakingwithteach.com/ and subscribe (on the top right of the website) to Encouraging Moments Newletter!
“I am reviewing Encouraging Moments as an official member of The Gabby Moms blogging program for Eternal Encouragement magazine. I did not receive compensation for this post and all opinions are solely my own.”